So, My Life Away From Home So Far...

              I want to start this blog post by getting straight to the point:

             

              I`m happier in Japan than I was in Canada.

              Don`t get me wrong, it sucks that I`m no longer living with my boyfriend (and most people here don`t recognize our relationship as legitimate due to our lack of marital licensing). It also sucks that I haven’t made that many friends as I would have liked to up to this point or that my mother`s birthday was on Friday and all I can think about is how much I miss my mommy. It sucks even more that I do not speak Japanese fluently and few people speak English or French fluently so I`m limited to phrases such as "My name is Natasha" and "I like the colour Orange".

However, I am still happier in Japan than I was in Canada

I don`t think that it`s due to anything intrinsically Japanese. I mean, Japan is beautiful, the people are nice, the food is delicious, and alcohol is very inexpensive—but no, it`s not specifically Japan.

It`s being able to chase my dreams; it`s being able to do the things that I`ve always wanted to do.

I was a miserable university student.

I was originally going to be a medical doctor, then a clinical psychologist, then a researcher… When I was in university, I took all of the advanced courses, did the student union thing, was a teaching assistant etc… but I was never really happy.

I had a full scholarship to university and then additional scholarships that followed and, despite all that, I sadly took very few classes that I was passionate about.

     

        I had a free pass and I took the easy route by taking the hard route.

       

        I wasn`t concentrating on what makes me happy; I concentrated on the easiest way to make money in the future.

In Japan, I work 35 hours a week, not counting coming in early, or leaving late after art club, or eating lunch with my students. I am at my assigned junior high school more than when I`m at home. But, somehow, I find time to do the things I love and I don`t feel tired every day.

Since living in Japan, I`ve been drawing and writing for pleasure. I started knitting again. I do exercises in the morning and eat healthy well balanced meals. I don`t have to do a million things at once, because everything is very "take it as it comes".

And, for those of you who think that I`m "wasting" time while I "figure out" what I want, I`ll tell you exactly what I want.

I want to be a writer.

I want to write short stories, novels, maybe even a comic book someday.

These are the dreams that I`ve figured out after having been away from home for two and a half months. And those dreams are reflected in my early childhood interests, before the public school system decided that I was "too smart" for art—of course implying that if you get good grades then you`re bound for academia and if that arbitrary number is too low then you have permission to "waste" your life on creative endeavors.

Though, there are some benefits for my dreams via the academic route. 

I`ve decided that I might go back to school.

I was thinking of a masters program in the UK.

I have a passion for ghost stories and there is a group of researchers that I would like to work with. They study the psychology behind paranormal experiences.

With a masters degree, I could do so much more. I could teach English in a university setting as opposed to public school. I could teach psych part time. I could learn what scares people, which could help better my writing. However, these are ends to a means.

If I go back to school, it will be a way for me to achieve the things that I want. And, I want three things:

1)    to travel

2)    to write

3)    to live

 　　　　　But, before I commit, lets see where life takes me.

Perhaps this is a privileged and entitled ``millennial`` mindset. Perhaps I am living in a dream world. Maybe my dreams do not reflect the greater good… Maybe I should get a Ph.D. and teach the next generation…

Or maybe we need to change.

I know that I needed to change.

I`ll do my thing, you`ll do yours.

We`ll support each other and see where it takes us.

This blog will update my friends back home on the recent chapter in my life. I will show you the things I see and observations that I make. I will update you on recent writing projects; my failures and my achievements. I want to share my life with others.
              My only request is that when you`re reading this blog, reflect on your own life while I reflect on mine. Are you experiencing life the way you want to experience it? If not, look into your heart and see where you want to go. My new path is not for everyone, so feel free to dream of anything and everything. Maybe academia is your thing. Maybe teaching, languages, religion, science, public relations, music, math, the army etc… is your thing. Whatever it is, we`ll do this together. 

Till next time,

Natty